Anal play, like all sexual activities, can carry the risk of STIs. That’s why it’s especially important to practice good hygiene, use lube, and avoid passing accessories back and forth (or between people of different sizes) and to only engage in anal play with a partner who you trust and know is comfortable doing so.

It’s also essential to take things slow. Instead of jumping straight to penetration, start with partnered anal fingering, manual sex (like kissing or spooning), and sensation play. This will help you get familiar with the area and your partner, and it’ll build a foundation of trust and mutual pleasure before going deeper.

Anal play, come and stay

Then, once you’re both ready to move on, try penetrative sex, whether it’s with a dildo, a butt plug, or even just your fingers. Just make sure to use lube and, as always, communicate with your partner: “Check in throughout to see how it’s feeling,” says Gonzalez. “If something is uncomfortable, let your partner know so they can adjust.”

It’s important to remember that the anal opening is a sensitive erogenous zone. “Don’t forget that your back door is a very sensual part of the body,” says certified sex and relationship coach Charlie Glickman. Stimulation of the anal opening with fingers, toys, tongues, or even your own body can feel intensely pleasurable, and some women can reach an anal orgasm from just that alone. Plus, shared nerves from the clitoris extend towards the anus, so stimulating the anal can trigger that same sensation for some women as well.